Charity's Blog

Life Lessons

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Wear your Mask!

It is incredible how people continue not to take precautions. People! Wearing a mask has nothing to do with your rights and freedoms. It is about saving lives, yours and mine!

We are supposedly in Phase I, and to see those out and about, you would not think so. Last weekend was Memorial Day. My husband and I ventured out but in a small way. We are not able to visit my mother-in-law at the nursing home, so we improvised and visited her from the outside looking in through a glass door that views the activity room of the facility. We saw her, and because she has Alzheimer’s, she continued to ask over and over why we can not go inside and sit with her. It was heartbreaking, but I was able to wear my big girl draws and made the best out of our brief visit.

We, also stopped at CVS to pick up items and a prescription. I was pleased to see that CVS is following the guidelines, customers were wearing masks, but as I was waiting for my husband to finish at check out, a young lady was waiting on line. She was annoyed to see us wearing masks except for her, she was not wearing one. Interesting!

Our last stop was to pick up take out, our favorite place in Kissimmee, Florida, China Bell, delicious food! They are adhering to the guidelines, allowing only four at a time, wear masks, and the front counter covered in plastic, and it was well thought out.

Listen, I made a conscious decision to adhere to social distancing and wearing my mask. First and foremost, I value my life as well as my fellow humans, and I will continue to do so. Help me to understand why? It is so foreign to me as to why some people are refusing.

I welcome you to leave a comment. Thank you!



The Moms in my Life

It is Mother’s Day on Sunday, May 10, 2020. I want to honor the moms in my life that I love with all of my heart.

First and foremost, to my Mami, although we have our challenges, we continue to battle it through with our hearts in motion. I accept the good with the bad no matter what! It took us a bit to reach this point, and I am blessed to have you in my life!

To my sweet, Ma, my mother-in-law, you are a loving person, and I adore you and living with Alzheimer’s, it is difficult. I am so glad that during this pandemic, Ma is in a state of lucidity. We were so worried that this situation was going to further her condition.

My loving aunt, what can I say! I love your wisdom, your heart, and your creativity. You are the bomb! I look forward to us scrapbooking together the next time you come to visit.

To my independent, courageous, and beautiful daughter, I always say to myself, when I grow up, I want to be just like you. I use to say you had an old soul. You raised my granddaughter, and she is an amazing kid, almost a high school graduate of 2020! We are so proud!

To my sister, we have grown and so glad we did. I can not imagine my life without you. You are funny, especially when you talk about your parakeets who are very active, wink! wink! They have produced a multitude of eggs that hatched recently. I always tease her about separating those birds!

My cousin, in a short time, I have gotten to know you more, you are a dedicated mom of two, and you don’t play! I love your spirit; you are fearless and committed to family.

I wish you all a most blessed Mother’s Day!

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Coronavirus: A Visit to Ma’s

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

~Dolly Parton

How many of you have a family member in a nursing home or an assisted living facility? It can be frustrating, and heart-wrenching. It is our new normal! I have not seen my mother-in-law since the beginning of this pandemic. She has Alzheimer’s and I am worried about this crisis furthering her condition. My fear is when this is over she will not know us.

Ma lives in memory care, her condition is at the beginning stages, she still knows us and she is well-loved by the staff and the residents. 

Fast forward to today. My husband and I decided to pay a visit and we are well aware that we can not visit due to the pandemic. I realize it is for the safety of the residents as well as ours, but I miss her deeply!

Upon arrival, at the entrance,  we saw a sign that read, “Heroes Work Here!,” it struck my heart and the reality of it all was extremely real! 

We drove toward the back of the parking lot by the outer glass door by the activity room and as we looked inside, there was Ma and she immediately spotted us. One of the nurse’s aides assisted her and the happiness on my mother-in-law’s face was well worth it.

We visited for 15 minutes but it is a memory that will stay with me for as long as I live!

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Life is a Roller Coaster Ride!

Life is a roller coaster ride! If anyone were to tell me that Ma would be in a nursing facility six months ago undergoing rehabilitation. I would not have believed them. She was living independently with mild Alzheimer’s, functional, and in a senior community.

Fast Forward to the Present

Ma has transferred from the hospital to the rehabilitation-nursing facility. The doctor, in her care, informed us that her Alzheimer’s has progressed. How is this possible? A close friend tried to enlighten me by saying, ” Ma is not bedridden, not in diapers and not being spoon-fed.” I refuse to accept that! I feel that she has spiraled towards the severe versus moderate since Hurricane Irma.

To top it off, she fell again, as she attempted to get off the bed in the rehabilitation facility. Staff found her on the floor in a sitting position, conscious in the early morning hours. Her bed is a hospital bed with an alarm due to not being able to remember to press the ‘Call for the Nurse’ button. She is in the facility undergoing physical and occupational therapy.

Reality check!

Ma cannot come home and will require more supervisory care. I continue to pray for strength. The one thing that I learned from all of this is to live life every day, as it was my last.  

Alzheimer’s Quote

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Moments of Confusion

Have you ever walked along a shoreline, only to have your footprints washed away? That’s what Alzheimer’s is like. The waves erase the marks we leave behind, all the sand castles. Some days are better than others.

-Pat Summitt

This disease sucks to no end! When you witness your loved one going through what I call moments of confusion.

When she finds herself lost in a space that is her home, not knowing whether to turn right or left to find her bedroom.

It is sad, you want to save her, make her better but you can’t instead, you can only guide her and stand by her.

She lives between moments of confusion and lucidity. I live it with her every day alongside her as her caregiver.

I am her family, I love her and I support her.

Brainy Quotes

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​Moments of Lucidity

Alzheimer’s disease is devastating and horrific, it may come with moments of lucidity but when it is witnessed by family members, it is a memory to remember fondly and wholeheartedly.

The moment of lucidity happened last night. I got a visit from my Ma, the person I remember as being Ma! It was late I was having trouble with sleep, and all of sudden through the crack of my door, I noticed all the lights in our house were turned on. It stemmed from the hallway, entranceway, living room all the way to the kitchen.

I was concerned that somebody broke into our home. As I opened my bedroom door towards the living room I suddenly heard, ” I am up, it is me!” The kitchen is located off to the side connecting to the living room. There she was, standing against the counter with a small pot in her hand as she says, ” I want to make some coffee.” Ma usually did her coffee the old school way processing the coffee grains through a strainer, then heating the milk in a small pot similar to the one she was holding.

I was concerned that she could hurt herself in making the coffee, so I said, ” I will make you coffee, Ma. Don’t worry! ” I proceeded to make the coffee all the while thinking how clear she was and talking. What a blessing to be able to have a conversation with my beautiful mother-in-law. When I told her that it was 12:50 am, she became apologetic. I reassured her not to worry, the night is young. I joined her for a bit, serving her coffee, crackers, and butter and made myself a cup as well.

That is a memory that I will always carry in my mind and in my heart. I know that this disease is devastating, crippling to both the person inflicted with it as well as the caregiver that witnesses it but if we can focus on those moments of lucidity, then perhaps we can make it through. Food for thought.