Happy Mother’s Day! My message to you is truthful and from the heart. I will not embellish, I will not paint a false picture of our mother, daughter relationship, but I hope you understand it is coming from my heart.
You are loving and challenging with a twinge of mystery! It bothers me that you don’t talk about your childhood in detail, just small puzzle pieces that often don’t connect. You come from a large family of nine, but yet I don’t see a close relationship between you and your siblings. You seek them out more than they seek you. It makes me wonder, why? You have shared how much you loved your mother and cared for her until her passing, but yet to hear stories of your childhood.
As a child, growing up, our relationship was not a positive one, and for that, I am sorry. I often felt very insecure, very unsure, and I was not a good student. My grades were crappy and now know why? I never felt supported. I never was told, “I am proud of you.”
I remember that in community college, I had an opportunity to do a music audition tape. I was taking a voice class at the time. I was approached by one of the students in the class who informed me of this opportunity to sing in a band, and I needed to do this audition tape. I remember I was so excited to tell you and Pop about it, but you both quickly talked me out of it. I will never forget that, and perhaps my future would have turned out differently. I guess I will never know!
My purpose is not to hurt you, but I want you to understand. I believe that for me, it has been a life full of lessons. I vowed at the time that my relationship with my future children will be different, so when I became a mom, my vow was in full swing! Every time my kids wanted to try out for something, I encouraged them, and I would say, “go for it!” It is so essential for a child to explore their talents and capabilities. I am proud to say my children turned to be well-rounded adults.
Over the years, I have tried to make that connection with you, and at present, our relationship has improved, but we still have room for improvement. You living with me has allowed me to get to know you. You are very sound in your faith and I am happy for you. Consider this my testimony. I love you very much!